Some Men are Bad News. Being single in London is a mine field and over the last week due to some recent commotions in my life I have generally picked out that most of my single acquaintances fall into two categories. Those who are holding out for a hero and those who are willing to try each hero to see if he is the one they have been holding out for. Complex? Let me explain.
Those holding out for a hero are not sad Bridget Jones types (I have major issues with Bridget) but just know what ‘Bad News’ looks like. ‘Bad news’ messes you around and will at some point leave you crying into a glass of vino whilst shouting expletives at your friend. This group see ‘Bad News’ coming and however hard it is to say ‘No thank you – yes, yes, you are ridiculously hot but I know that this time in 3 weeks I’ll be wanting to throw hot coffee over you’ they do it, well, most of the time.
The other crowd are trial and error ladies, this crowd think trying men on like shoes is the best way to see if they will give you blisters or make you kick them across the room in a fit of rage. They are ‘the try before you buy squadron’ and although they are essentially single they always have something on the go. They are always ‘seeing someone’ even if they are ‘seeing’ that this chosen man is a huge tit.
I’ve taken the advice from both ranks this week. I’ve listened to the ‘YOU know that NO GOOD will come of this’ mantra of the HOFAH (Holding out for a hero) tribe and the ‘Well give him a go, yes he does have a reputation but so does nearly everyone ’ from the T&E (Trial and Error) tribe. Both have their merits in terms of controlling the field of play but what to do? What do you do if ‘Bad News’ is coming right at you and you have to make a serious move to engage or block it but you can’t make up your mind?
Read a book. My advice is read a book – that is what I have done this week. After all it is what Jane Austen would have done (yes she did die alone but don’t worry about that for now, we’ll work on that another time), yes, reading offers the escape hatch often needed in most ‘Shite what the hell am I going to say now?’ situations.
For example ‘Would you like to go for a drink with me?’ Bad News might ask (we know where this is going). Point at your book and panic read. ‘Should we go home now?’ says Bad News (we also know where this is going). Point at the book and start reading with a knowing smile.
I’ve decided this makes me the mysterious bookish type – they won’t interrupt you – trust me. They might think you are clinically insane but they won’t press any further with their Bad News questions and with any luck you’ll escape having to make a decision for another day.
It is also preferable to start reading a book with strong female characters and men with hardly any significance or value such as Ruby’s Spoon by Anna Lawrence Pietroni. Her debut novel, recently released is also as mad as a hatter just like me (and probably you if you have followed me this far). On the back it states ‘This is a tale of three women, one witch, one mermaid and one missing’ – excellent where do I sign up.
Based in Cradle Cross in the Black Country between wars in 1933, the town is as suspicious an old town as they come. Its livelihood is based around Blick’s button factory once owned by Hector Blick and now passed on to his niece Truda Cole Blick. The trouser wearing, gin drinking, short haired Truda is a stark contrast to her old fashioned surroundings. She embodies all that is new and wrong with the world in the eyes of Cradle Cross.
Ruby is a 13 year old girl working in the local chip shop and living with her sourpuss grandmother. Her father figure is Captin, the man who owns the fish shop, her own father being a recluse who never leaves the boatyard. Lonely in her world Ruby meets a mysterious young woman in a crimson cloak one day called Isa Fly. Isa has white hair and a white eye and is searching for a long lost half sister left in Cradle Cross long ago. Ruby takes her to meet Truda and they both end up competing for Isa’s affection.
However Isa isn’t wanted by the town’s people and trouble ensues, the newcomer is thought to be a witch turning the town upside down. Mysterious disappearances begin to occur and Truda and Isa are blamed.
Meanwhile Ruby is caught between the town and the fray which pulls her apart from her family. All this swept up with the magical air of witchcraft, the sea and fairy tales make this a complex but compelling read.
Risotto with Nettles by Anna Del Conte
Ants on my spoon…
The Prince of Mist
