It’s been 3 months now since I gave up my job in TV to work in Interiors. It’s been a slow [subtitle: major understatement] process, shall we say, finding work but an interesting experiment in how to keep yourself from going bonkers with nothing but your own company for entertainment.
I’ve never had so much time on my hands. Things I’ve done to while away the hours include: making pretty much every recipe in the Hummingbird Bakery book; feeling so close to having a heart attack after eating aforementioned cakes I took a fitness DVD out of its wrapping and actually put it in the DVD player; rearranged my cookery books in height AND colour order; worked out just how little money I now have to play with and de-cluttered the kitchen cupboards…all in my extremely comfortable leisurewear.
This makes for uncomfortable reading. What’s happened to my life? I used to be a hip young dudette about town but lately I seem to have swapped falling out of bars in the early hours for a good read with a homemade cupcake. I’m in danger of becoming a 1950s housewife.
Short of popping ‘mothers little helper’ and slobbing out Waynetta style with the tragedy that is Jeremy Kyle I thought I’d keep myself out of trouble and stir up the creative juices with my very own market stall. I’ve decided to sell vintage teacups potted with pansies and antique saucers with French soap tied up in ribbon.
Inspired by Tim Burton’s brilliant Alice in Wonderland film [see it in 3D, if only for the Ray-Ban style glasses], the stall will be called ‘Mad as a Hatter’. I’m going to dress the table [which in my mind is huge but in reality is the size of Alice after she drank the magic potion] in the style of a Mad Hatter’s tea party. Think antique tablecloths, oversized playing cards and pastel coloured french fancies on vintage cake stands. I saw this amazing window display for the film at Selfridges recently and feel very inspired.
I’ve also bought these sweet rubber stamps from Cox and Cox so that I can make gift cards as well as gift tags to tie on the cups with ribbon:
As for the small matter of the crockery, for the last two weeks I’ve discovered a competitive streak I never knew I had…on Ebay. I’ve also found out that to get the real bargains, you need to play the game. So for all you Ebay virgins, here are my top tips:
1. Pour yourself a large glass of vino. It’s an essential part of the process.
2. It’s becoming increasingly tricky to get good antiques at bargain basement prices so to find the best steals think laterally. You’re looking for items owned by people who have no idea of the value of the items they’re selling. Many sellers know that if they describe something as ‘vintage’ or ‘shabby chic’ it’ll attract more bids. Some of my best buys were found by avoiding these words and typing in more general descriptions like ‘china tea service’ or even ‘joblot china’. You can also search by location. For example, I like all things French so rather than type in ‘french mirror’, I’ll type in ‘mirror’ and then select ‘European Union’ under location preferences. Warning – it takes much, much longer to search this way but, trust me, on the 19th page your bargain will await you. Patience.
3. Play hard to get. Much like spotting a gorgeous, single and, if you’re even luckier, straight man, you don’t want to act too keen. Rather than bidding straightaway, click on ‘watch this item’. Keep an eye on your watch list and don’t forget when the bid ends. Remember, cool yet actively interested.
4. Seize the moment. When the auction’s down to the last minute, go in for the kill and make your first bid. The countdown is a huge adrenaline rush [or am I just spending too much time on my own?]. If you’re outbid, engage your killer instinct and type in your maximum bid. Basically this is the highest amount you’re prepared to pay for the item so Ebay will then automatically bid on your behalf. This takes extreme self-control. If, like me, bidding brings out your competitive side, try to stick the amount you originally wanted to pay. Otherwise you’ll end up with lots of tat that you’ve paid way too much for. Again, stay cool. Don’t take all your clothes off at once. Or something like that.
You dated, you got a little carried away with the Pino Grigio and now it’s The Moment of Truth. What have you woken up with? Here are my results. I’ve omitted the dodgy crochet blanket described as ‘granny chic’ [see, stay away from trendy words] but the rest were pretty good.
The best buy was this Royal Albert tea service with sweet little blue birds on – 28 pieces of gorgeous crockery for £14.99. Bargain.
My flatmate Nick and boyfriend Matt don’t get the vintage thing at all and reckon the kitchen now resembles an old people’s home. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea but I love it. After all, it’s vintage daaaahlings. As a compromse, I let Matt put his weird ‘King Ken’ toy thing on the cake stand. Men are such strange beings.
Next stop, Columbia Road flower market to fill them up…
Happy hunting – Valerie x
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